Thanks for the walk, Elliott

Tuesday 03 February 2009 at 12:07

Dear Elliott,

I think you're too young right now to understand. I'm writing it here where you can hopefully read it when you're older -- maybe after you have kids of your own -- and where I can remember it later.

I was stressed about time this morning while getting ready for work. Mama and I are overwhelmed making room for your sister. I've been working more hours anticipating the sleep deprivation that comes with a newborn. I'm also investing a lot of time in Columbine's rebirth. I try to remind myself time is not a limitation, only a tool for organizing, but that wisdom is an extremely difficult practice.

While I was reminding myself to breathe and hastily folding yet another load of laundry, you suggested to Mama that we all go for a walk. You had to suggest it several times before Mama and I snapped out of our routines. Mama ran her first errand alone while you walked me to work. Thank you so much for suggesting it.

All urgencies evaporated. As you said "boys sometimes walk, and sometimes pick up trashcans," I followed your cue and righted a neighbor's trashcan that had blown over in yesterday's wind. You talked about "being careful of the pokey branches" as you stepped carefully around a bush overgrowing the sidewalk, protecting your "baby sister" -- today's name for your neon blue and green monkey.

Thank you for the way you kept holding my hand even after we'd crossed an intersection. Thanks for the few minutes we took to watch the mighty front loader moving a pile of rocks for the flood mitigation happening at Elmer Two-Mile Park. Mostly, thank you for drawing my attention back to The Here and Now and helping me let go of The Urgent.

Love, Daddy